Today has been the first day in a really long time, where I was really forward to coming home and write.
One reason might be, that I for once got a reasonable amount of sleep last night and the other might be, that it is today – indeed – the 20th of April, which means its time to do the project status.
I love this thing.
I just sit down and have a place where I can put down random thoughts, without any reason, besides its being the 20th of a months.
Here are three things I wanted to address.
I was really struggling with this decision. I wanted to English, ever since I started this blog. For one reason to increase my audience and for the other, because I simply love English. Its a great language, its a chatty language. In English I can just talk, in German I have to formulate. Still, I will not quit German entirely. Its my native language, so obviously I can express many more things in German, than I can in English. See, I lived in Pennsylvania for a while a couple years ago and surround myself with English pretty much all the time. By doing only English, I would definitely sabotage my work as writer.
Right now, I have lots of freetime. Or at least, am I able to take a lot of free time. So writing each article in both language isn’t so much of an issue, but I do think that one day I’ll just have to make up my mind and decide.
Difficult. Very difficult.
Another decision that is sort of up in the air.
Music is pretty much my biggest passion in life, maybe even bigger than blogging or writing. I used to play the clarinet and the piano in school I quit both two years ago though.
Ever since I have been just listening to music. For me, that is totally fine an enough. I was generally lacking the aspect of creation in life, which is the reason that I started this blog, but when it comes to music, I absolutely have no ambition at all to step back into creation hood again.
But a very good friend of mine Hansen, (he’s my YouTube expert, the guy that sometimes puts really cool link down below in the comments), anyway – he said: Sarah, you should blog about music!
I wasn’t given that a second thought at this time, because I just didn’t know a way to integrate it in the subjects of this blog.
Then, I met Nicao. He’s very talented German Rapper, currently living in Berlin. Still we met for a coffee back in Düsseldorf and he kinda turned my mind around on that. Hearing him speak about his music made me realize how this part of me is missing on this place of creation.
I want to reflect what I do with music on here.
And what I do, is listening, discovering, getting excited and getting inspired by music.
With further ado, here’s my pick for this month:
Childish Gambino, also known as Donald Glover is a American Hip Hop and Rap artist. I think I discovered about five years ago through his song Heartbeat.
The music he makes is special, though not too spacey. It’s understandable.
There are two things that think about bad music: It’s either to complicated or too simple. You can’t do something good, without any effort at all but putting something out there, that is so overthought doesn’t help either.
Childish Gambino’s music is like right in the middle, right on top.
But what am I talking, you can’t write music. You can only listen to it:
Generally I have a lot motivation problems. And I hate that.
I’m a mess, I am easily stressed, I used to not do things, because I couldn’t manage my time, I used to not to things, because they where too difficult, too boring or too unsure.
I wanted to quit all this. This year I came up with 12 challenges, each for every month. I start these on the first and do these until the year is done.
In April, running season started. See running has always been a love/hate thing in my life.
The situation is as following:
Sport in school have ruined me for my whole life. It was just a total fucking nightmare. I hated it so much, that I started hating sports as well.
So, disclaimer: If you are reading this and you are a person in school, who struggles in gym class, don’t let that effect the place sports are taking in your life. Sports are good and important, gym class was the most unnecessary, damaging, humiliating experience of my life.
I go running once in a while now for a couple of years. My mom used to always take me on long walks, which has always been a very precious time, to talk about anything we couldn’t get around to in the heat of everyday life.
Every sunday evening we would walk into town, get ice cream, walk along the river Ruhr and back to our house through the woods. That was almost 10 km every week.
Here’s a picture of the river. I love this place, miss it so much.
Therefore, I always liked walking and was just never a lazy person.
But walking doesn’t take me any effort what so ever, I just go and everything is okay.
The purpose of this challenge is, to challenge me though, so I chose to go running three times a week.
At first, it was great and fine, I was improving every time, I enjoyed being outside, music on, world off. Today, I again lack motivation though. I want running to become a party of my everyday life, I want to go as often as I can, without questioning it, why do always have such a hart time, to keep track of something I started?
How do you cope with motivation? How do you not stop things, you should do, but not necessarily want to do all the time?
For today, this should be it.